I had a minor surgical procedure in early January (health is fine) but it still left me unable to do much for 4 weeks and absolutely no running for 7 weeks. I finally started training on February 24 and I've been doing well since. Spring break last week threw me off schedule. Also, I have some friends dealing with some difficult times. This has been a mental challenge for my training. It's made me second guess my purpose for even doing this IM?!?!
A good friend is fighting cancer, but I don't believe this cancer has a chance against this friend. She's one of the most determined human beings I know. I only found out the news a couple of weeks ago when she was in surgery to have brain tumors removed. The news hit me hard for several reasons but I am as optimistic is she is....her positive energy is very contagious. I also have a good friend that has close loved ones with serious illnesses as well. It's difficult to have friends (friends that feel like family) going through so much in their lives while I'm doing something for fun. My ironman training started to feel pointless some time last week. I'm not sure if it's guilt, self pity, or some lack of interest, but I was ready to throw in the towel. My purpose to do this for "fun" really didn't make much sense. I've also done every single workout for this training on my own (found the solitude helpful many times), which felt okay for a few weeks, but I know it will get more difficult when the mileage increases.
This week, (week 12) which is week 5 for me....(confusing I know but I jumped into following a 25 week plan....made most sense to me), has been off to a difficult start.
**Back track to my first week: I was also able to jump right in there for the most part....except for the running. It was a good confidence booster. I was glad that I hadn't lost all of my fitness, but my muscles had dwindled away.....thank goodness for muscle memory. Training had been going well**
Back to this week: Slow start after spring break and a lot of emotional stuff going on in my head. I really was ready to give up on this Ironman training, but had some time to think and a few hard workouts to help clear the mind. It's one of the reasons that I love doing this.....it's good for mental strength and for my health:-).
My original purpose to do this Ironman in 2010 was very unclear...especially after having surgery but I was going to do it to "have fun" with Robin (her second as well) and with Bibiana (her first). Well that's never a good enough "purpose" because as fortunate as I'm to be able to train, have friends to share it with, and love the sport....Ironman training can be very difficult....emotionally and physically. So from here on out....I'm dedicating this training to my loved ones that are facing some real challenges, helping loved ones go through difficult times, and for those that have suffered a loss of a loved one. NO MORE WHINING from me!!!!
Up next (this weekend)....1/2 marathon that I'm not trained for but looking forward to it more than any other race I've ever done!!!! My heart will be heavy but I'll run on for those that can't!!!