Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Wow!! And not so Wow!!??

Ran the Marshes today....alone, which turned out to be very rewarding. I enjoy running with a group especially with good friends but this day was much needed.

I was surprised by how emotional this run felt and how much clarity ONE run can give. Our Rogue coaches often ask that we have a clear purpose for running.....or training for a marathon and I don't really struggle with that concept.

Running for me has finally became as natural as having a relationship with a friend, spouse,'s just a part of me! My purpose to run is very clear. What isn't how do I keep that running "relationship" new and exciting! I'm finally at a place that I consider myself a runner. I wish my relationship with it was simple and not so complicating. I wish I could run 3-5 miles here and there and feel content.....a one night stand relationship of sorts:-)!!

Today my run connected with this song....
It best describes my relationship and my reason for running!! I know it's sort of weird....but it's a good relationship that I cherish. I won't give it up but I do struggle with it because it often causes some heartache.

I'm writing this with some raw (and cheesy) emotions....trying to reflect on how I felt today with running. Such a high but also makes me feel so vulnerable at times. Vulnerable because I love it but scared to push myself into it for the fear of heartbreak or failure. Oh how a one night stand would be easier, such as a three miler a day for the rest of my life:-)! My purpose is clear.....but how do I keep my relationship alive and new. How do I get it to the next level....without fear of it not ever going anywhere or evolving?? Where is it going? I'm a recreational runner and mostly do it for why do I NEED it to go anywhere?? It should be my easiest relationship:-)! Should be easy to love and embrace!

Running has seen me through some great times, sad times, and helped develop some amazing friendships so I'll always be grateful. However, how can I make it more simple and be content with it going nowhere!!!???

My run with the Marshes was actually very accelerating and a little climactic:-). Hence the reason to ponder my relationship a little deeper. I really shouldn't run alone anymore:-)! Just had questions for my had to write some thoughts down.

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